The waiting game

We have now been certified for almost one month. Many of you have asked what the plan is from now on. Really, there is not much of a plan. All we can do is, wait, pray, and try to prepare as best as we can.
To be honest with the holidays, we haven't really done much on the "prepare" part. It feels like there is so much to do, yet it feels so unreal that we really should be getting ready. Probably because we're PAPER PREGNANT instead of pregnant. - I do kind of like this expression, because it hits the nail on the head (no idea if you'd say that in English.)
According to one of my favorite adoption support websites we are in the 2nd trimester of adoption. It typically feels like the longest one, while we are waiting for our baby to find us. Every time the phone rings, we hope that it's that call. During this time period it is suggested that we:
1. Start putting the nursery together - which we've started! 
2. Go shopping for baby things. - We did get a car seat and nursery furniture, but nothing else so far. Things we should get are a few outfits, receiving blankets, diapers, wipes, bottles, and formula. We should get these basics, since we don't know how much notice we'll have before our baby arrives. 
3. Find a pediatrician - ? Really, let me know your thoughts.
4. Take newborn classes - Which I don't feel comfortable doing, since I'm not pregnant. I've had some practice through my friends and a great support system, so I'll pray I'll be fine. The few books I've read will hopefully help too.
5. Plan a last "kid free" vacation away. - With saving for our adoption, that's not going to happen, but we've had our vacations ;o). 
6. Read, read, and read books on adoption and child rearing. - We've started that as well. One of our favorite reads is "The happiest baby on the block". 
7. Educate our family and friends on what is going to take place since we are now the pros in regards to adoption. (Well I'm not sure about being a pro, but I guess I know more than most of you.)


The hardest part in all of this is of course the waiting. Although I'm in no way ready to be a mom tomorrow (actually I'd be in trouble, especially with school), the not knowing how long it might be is sometimes hard. Not all the time though. I would greatly appreciate your prayers for patience and peace of mind! While I am peaceful most of the time and know to trust the Lord, I still get my moments of anxiety in which I am horribly scared that I'll never be a mom. Thank you for those of you who pray for us, it means a lot!

New Year's Resolution 2012

As I was reading through my favorite blogs, I realized that I really should have a new year's resolution.
The last few year's my goal had always been that by the following year at this time I would be a mother. Well, we all know how that has worked out so far - which is why we're here in the first place.
Even with all the heart break, sorrows, huge medical bills, and challenges we never lost hope. Yes there were times were I wondered if God didn't let me get pregnant, because I would not be a good mother. Maybe he was protecting me and my family from even bigger sorrow. Thankfully though, the Lord placed a very supportive and wise man on my side, who prayed for and with me and never lost faith.
Last year I made the resolution to become a better servant. God had brought me through so much, and had taken all my sorrow and hurt and carried it for me. I had been scared that all these heart breaks would put me in a dark place I knew all to well from my teenage years- depression. But thankfully this time God carried me and kept me safe like one of my favorite poems states. "The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you". 
Michael and I began serving at our church on Sunday's last year in January and have enjoyed it very much! What a blessing it has been to us, to be better servants.

So my new year's resolution for this year is to live by one of my favorite bible verses Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding".  I read it all the time, but it is not easy to live by for me. I pray that I would become better in trusting this year and be ok with not being in control. If you know me, you know how extremely hard that is for me. You'd think I'd have learned it by now, but I have a long ways to go. 

At the same time I feel like I'm not in control of anything right now. We are waiting for the call to become parents and have no idea how long it may be. Maybe a year from now, 6 months, 1 month, 1 week, or tomorrow? We don't know. It's entirely in God's hands. He has our baby in his perfect plan. All I can do is pray for our child's health and safety, for our birthmother's health and peace of mind, and for patience for us. 

I pray that 2012 would be filled with blessings for our home and wish the same for all of yours!!!!