What a beautiful song and a perfect video for us! As the summer progresses faster than we both like, we've actually found a way to enjoy waiting. I know, what a progress, right? This is also thanks to some wonderful friends and fellow bloggers. It's amazing how God puts just the right words in their mouths or blogs that I need to hear. Wow is all I can say.
Another way we've passed time is by preparing the nursery. I'm sure a few of you are wondering why this takes so long. Well, my wonderful husband is painting murals of our favorite American and Austrian children's book characters. We've made very good progress but are still missing a few. We've also finally agreed on what window coverings we will use. This probably sounds funny, but it wasn't that easy of a process. We had to find something we both liked as well as something that a non crafty person like me can actually make. ;o) When we're mostly done, I promise to post pictures. It will still be a while and I won't be able to post the final project until our baby actually comes home, since we'll need his/her name to finalize the whole project.
Hopefully you take time to listen to the song and the lyrics and enjoy it as much as I do. There couldn't be a better theme song for this time in our lives. John Walle's words say it all!!!!!
Next week we are going to beat the heat and get out of here to go on a little vacation. You never know, maybe this will be our last one without a little one? We'd definitely LOVE that.

Keep on waiting :o)

Well I know I've been a little whiny recently. We all have good and bad days. Not having very much to do gives one too much time to think. So it was time to get a little busier.
Last week I started to volunteer at our adoption agency. It's not a whole lot to do, but I've been there twice in the last week and felt like I was helping others, which was nice. As a teacher I send an invitation to volunteer in my class to my parents every year. I'm always happy if there is one mom who is willing to come and help out! So when I saw our agencies invitation to volunteer I figured it is time to give back.
When I ran into my case worker we had a really nice chat. In the course of that I realized that my brother-in-law whose now living for us for at least a month obviously needed to be fingerprinted. Wow, how did I miss that????!!!!! Thank goodness God sent me in the right place to make sure it all got taken care of. We got it all done on Monday and are good to go. :o)
Last weekend we got to spend in with wonderful friends who then came to visit us on Monday. That definitely made time go faster.
I've never been good at waiting, but I know my friends that I need to quit whining and simply be ok with God's timing. The hardest thing is that while 6 months of waiting are in general normal and not much at all, there are quite a few families with our agency that got matched much faster than that. So I greatly appreciate all your prayers for patience for me!
I came across this video on another adoption blog and it fits so perfectly for me, that I wanted to re-post it here. Waiting - I guess I'll better make the best of it.

Late Night Thoughts

Well, I can tell it is summer vacation, because there is no possible way that I would usually be awake at this time of night. No, not even on the weekend. I guess that's what comes with teaching 1st graders, they wear me out. ;o) While I enjoy my vacation very much, I do miss being surrounded by kids!!!!!
I love my dogs and cats, but it's just awfully quiet here in this house.
The last 2 weeks have been a little rough in regards to the wait. Michael tells me that ignorance is bliss, and I should just read less and I'd feel better about things. Well that's unfortunately not how my little mind works. Luckily he knows that, so he just lets me do my thing.
At this point there is only one other family that attended our adoption class that has not been matched yet. I know that this is not a competition and I know it is all in God's time. That is what I know, but my heart is a total different subject.
Thoughts like "What's wrong with us, why do mom's pick other couples over us?" keep coming into my mind at least once a day. Typically more often. I'm second guessing everything. Is our matchletter bad, do we need to change things, ...? And most of all there is still this fear in the very back of my brain and the bottom of my heart that I am just not meant to be a mother. It really hurts to write this down, but throughout our years of infertility I've always struggled with this. What if God just doesn't mean for me to be a mother?
The sad thing is, that this would mean that Michael won't be a father. I just can't imagine that this could be God's plan. Michael will be the most amazing father!!!!! God has shaped him to be the perfect dad. So why is he not letting him become a father? It really is beyond my understanding.

Today I read the following verse in a posting of an online adoption community:
Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, "Give them up!"
And to the sound, "Do not hold them back."
Bring my sons from afar,
and my daughters from the ends of the earth --
Everyone who is called by my name, 
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.
- Isaiah 43: 5-7

The first line is the key for me - do not be afraid. As I am rereading my post I realize that I am afraid. I'm full of fear and I just can't get rid off it. As our pastor points out frequently "To worry is to not trust God". Well my brain knows that and it's trying for my heart to understand this concept, but somewhere along the way the info just gets lost. So if any of you out there, friends, family, or fellow soon to be adoptive moms or already adoptive moms have some good advice for me, please don't hold back!
I need to focus on the trust that God will bring our child to us! It's in his time though and that's the hard part for me.

Save the Adoption Tax Credit

As an advocate for adoption, this is a topic that's very dear to my heart. Adoptive parents love their children unconditionally, just like our biological families do. Families adopt, because they love children and want to open their home to them. Women (and men) who place their child for adoption are most of the time in a difficult situation in their life. They give their child the gift of life, but recognize that they will not be the best parent for their child.
In 2009 almost 2700 children were waiting to be adopted through the foster care system in Arizona alone. Yet, adopting an infant or an older child from foster care is never an easy thing.
Infant adoption is connected with fairly high costs for adoption agencies. Fees are generally between $15,000 to $35,000  and cover a number of things like, medical, living and counseling  expenses for expectant mothers who are prospective birth mothers,court and other legal fees, and more.
While adoption from foster care is not connected with high fees from agencies, most foster children have some special need that will bring financial challenges to their forever adoptive family. At the same time each child in foster care costs the government about $47,000 per year. (I know, I was also shocked when I saw this number!) So even if you are not an adoption advocate or worry about the expense this tax credit is for our government, you can see it is a much smaller expense than caring for children in foster care. And while we have wonderful foster care families out there, it is much better for a child to be able to grow up as a permanent member in a family.
For this reason I ask for your help to advocate of the extension of the Adoption Tax Credit. At this point it is set to expire at the end of 2012. To my family this will mean that while we will be able to adopt once, a 2nd adoption might financially not be possible. I am sure that Michael and I are not the only couple that would love to adopt (more than once), but cannot financially afford it.

The goal is to have an adoption tax credit that is:

• Inclusive: Children, whether adopted from foster care, through intercountry adoption, or through private domestic adoption should be able to benefit from the adoption tax credit. 
• Permanent: The adoption tax credit should become a permanent part of the tax code to ensure continued support to those who bring children into families through adoption. 
• Refundable: The adoption tax credit should be refundable to ensure that families with moderate and lower incomes receive the full benefit of the credit. 
• Flat for Special Needs: All families who adopt a child with special needs should be eligible for a "flat" tax credit, meaning they can claim the maximum credit without documenting expenses. This distinction, which is already in current law, recognizes the fact that many of the expenses associated with adopting children with special needs show up after an adoption is finalized. 

Here is what you can do to help
Please visit http://adoptiontaxcredit.org/advocate/ to get more information.
Contact your representative and senator today! Here is the link to a sample letter you can use when contacting them: http://adoptiontaxcreditdotorg.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/atc-wg-kit.pdf
You can find the information of how to contact your legislators on the follwing websites:
www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm
www.house.gov/representatives

Thank you for considering to help this important cause!!!!

Summer just began

This has officially been my 3rd day of summer vacation. truthfully I've had a hard year at school. I love teaching, but all of you teachers out there know that some year's are rougher than others. God certainly challenged me this year, but I made it through - with A LOT OF prayer. Even my students knew, that sometimes Mrs. Bartlett needs a time out. To be honest, this triggered some interesting conversations between my students. One of my favorite ones went something like this:
"Mrs. Bartlett, when you need a time out, what do you do?" "Well, I take a minute and say a prayer." "What does that mean?" Another student chimes in, "That means she talks to God." The first student turns to me and says full of surprise, "You can talk to God?!" Before I can say anything the second student wisely tells the first, "Anyone can, even you. Didn't you know that?" Which the first student accepted with a big smile on her face. I love my first graders!

You all are probably wondering why I am writing about this on our adoption blog. Well, because although the year was hard, and many days I couldn't wait for it to end, it kept me very busy. Which in this time of waiting, was a very good thing. I've only been off for three days and I have no idea how I'll make it through the summer. Being at home by myself with the dogs really reminds me that what I want most in the world is to be a mother!

Today I talked to our adoption counselor. She said that our matchletter is being passed around. She knows the waiting is hard. Her recommendation was to go on vacation. Her exact words were "Please don't not go on vacation because you might get a call. Go on vacation, enjoy your summer and relax." Well all that is much easier said than done!

I guess all I can do is to finish up the nursery, finalize reorganizing the house a little, and read the adoption and baby books that are waiting for me.

Michael and I really appreciate your prayers for us. Our prayer requests are on the right side of our posts. I guess what we need most of all at this point is PATIENCE! Thanks for thinking about and praying for us!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!

Since there hasn't been much to do but wait the last few months, Michael and I were focused on meeting our goal of financing our adoption without dept. To be honest, a few months ago, it seemed pretty much impossible to me. I cannot attribute this to anything but the grace of God! He is faithful! I am simply in awe by what he has done through you in the last few months! So many of you were instrumental in achieving this goal! Therefore I wanted to share our happy news. As of yesterday, we have saved up the amount we will need to pay to the agency once our baby comes home with us!!! YAY!!!!! We are so incredibly excited!!! This means, that when we get a call, we can accept without worries if we will be able to have the money in time.
Since we decided to adopt we made sure all of my paychecks went into savings. I only cheated for Christmas, is that bad? We also used some savings money for agency fees we already paid.
While we were doing a good job of savings, we were incredibly blessed with all your amazing contributions!!!!
Thank you for all your monetary and also yard sale donations, we could not have done this without you!!!! God has blessed us in such amazing ways, we can't even believe it most days!!!!
We don't know what else to say, but THANK YOU!!!!!
I've been very stressed about this financial situation, and thankfully a lot of that stress is now gone. I am so thankful to have learned to live on a budget though! This will greatly help us out in the future. Now we'll continue to save, since babies are expensive.   :o)
But at least, now we are ready for God's and our agencies call!
Thank you all again for your amazing support!!!!!!!!!!

Waiting, praying, wishing, waiting

As all of you noticed I haven't been good about blogging at all. One reason is that life has been very busy. I've really been enjoying having my mom here with me! That also means, that I don't really spend time on the computer, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. ;o)
On the other hand, there hasn't been any progress, so not really much to write about. Our homestudy is at the court and now we wait. I guess our agency has shown us to mom's, at least they say they have, but nothing yet.
The benefit to all of that is that we've had more time to raise and safe money, which is a very good thing!
Thank you to all our wonderful friends who helped us with our yard sales the past 2 weekends!!!! We couldn't have done it without you Summer, Wade, Justin, Colleen, Logan, April and my mom!!!!!!
I feel so blessed to have the supportive friends and family I have!
What I do need to work on is my walk with God. A few weeks ago we had our hopes come up again, with no result. I've prayed and prayed and prayed, but nothing. I know God has a plan, it's just so hard for me when I get my hopes up for nothing. It makes me angry and frustrated. For those of you who pray, I guess I could use some prayers for my walk with God. I haven't been good about reading my bible and I know that is not good. The feeling of disappointment has taken overhand lately though. So thanks for your encouragement and prayers!
We all have our ups and downs, and I'm hoping once my health is better again (no more bronchitis and sinus infection would be nice) my spirits will rise. We shall see.
Oh boy, I'm a downer today, I better stop.